


babe im gonna leave you

by sweetexos



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst, Depression, F/F, Fluff, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Fjord/Mollymauk Tealeaf, Molly is nonbinary you fools, Slow Burn, fjord is going through a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-09-14 01:39:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16903686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetexos/pseuds/sweetexos
Summary: fjord, molly, beau, and jester have a band. these are the things that happen while trying to balance college and fun. along with some painful truths to being apart of life.





	1. hupperduke

It’s dark when his eyes flutter open. The first thing he realizes is that his arm is asleep and his back is aching. There’s a tuft of hair sprawled across his cheek and he groans at all of the struggles at once. His hand comes up to rub at his eyes, waking further in the darkness. His neck strains as he looks over his setting. He’s on the floor in the living room, the carpet rough under his fingers as he embraces his surroundings. He blows the hair from his face and even in the dark he notices it to be Jester’s. 

She’s curled up on Beau’s thigh, drooling on the woman’s sweatpants. Fjord brings his hand up to his head and groans as a rush of pain shoots to his brain. His eyes scan the rest of the area and sees Molly laying halfway off the couch with his arm sprawled dramatically over Jester’s ankle. Beau’s leg is spread across Fjord’s own legs. There’s blankets draped over them carelessly, and his eyes drift to the clock in the kitchen. 3:54 am.

Gently, he removes Beau’s long legs from his own and pulls the blue blanket from his waist. He stands now, taking in the bottles of liquor on the coffee table and Molly and Beau’s empty bag of edibles laying disgracefully on the floor next to Molly’s horn. The half-orc squints his eyes and sighs as he stumbles his way towards the kitchen. He doesn’t remember what the hell happened, and won’t want to try until daylight hits later. 

His mind is static as he pours himself a glass of water, hoping it will ease his pain if only a little. Once he’s gathered some of his bearings, he heads to his room, gathers as many pillows and blankets as he can and brings them back to the living room. Quietly, he begins to lay the blankets over his friends, lifting their heads to put a pillow underneath. Fjord his to gently move Molly so he’s laying on the couch normally before snuggling himself completely back onto the floor.

He closes his eyes and sleep takes him soon enough.

-

 

When he wakes, it’s no longer dark. Light shines through the purple curtains above him and he lets out a soft noise as he picks himself off the floor yet again. Another glance to the clock says it’s 8:45 am and it’s about time for the girls to head home. Softly, Fjord shakes Beau from her sleep. “Beau, Beau, gotta get up.” And from his other side he hears the rustling of Jester shifting awake. 

Beau only groans loudly and rolls over and away from Fjord. He sighs then, looking over at the blue tiefling. She’s blinking up at the ceiling, short hair tousled into a nest under her. She rubs at her eyes for a few seconds before sitting up and looking to Fjord. “Morning, Jes.” He greets, a sympathetic smile growing on his face. 

She only huffs and brings her fingers through her hair to calm it down. Beau is still coddling her own blanket as Jester does the same that Fjord did earlier, examining the ruin. “You guys better get home, I’m sure Sprinkles misses you.” He speaks up, thinking about the ferret creating a mess of Beau and Jester’s apartment. When he says this, the girl looks to Fjord and her face crunches up in a sorrowful expression. She looks like she remembers what happened the night before. 

“I’ll go get you both some water bottles for the walk.” He mutters, moving towards the kitchen in search for the water packaging. He barely sees Jester softly waking Beau to consciousness and the woman groaning in her own pain from the night before. Molly stays unconscious on the couch, mouth open and hand dramatically across his heart. 

He retrieves the waters just as Beau is sitting up and tying her hair back into a tight bun. He hands the two the bottles and Jester stands up now. She reaches for her pink shoes and begins lacing them on her feet. “You sure you don’t need any help cleaning or anything, Fjord?” She questions, gesturing to the bottles on the coffee table. Beau just about downs the water and wipes off the wetness from her lips with the back of her sleeve. 

Fjord shakes his head and gives them a soft smile. “I’m fine. Molly and I have it covered.” Molly snores at that exact moment and Beau snorts as she slips on her shoes. He leads them to the door, Jester reaching around to hug him and Beau giving him a punch to the arm. Beau’s already walking away when Jester sighs and furrows her eyebrows. 

“If you need us, we’re here for you.” And she turns around and rushes to catch up with Beau. Fjord closes the door quietly and lets out a breath. Molly is suddenly awake now, scaring Fjord with a blank stare in his direction. 

He chuckles and rubs the back of his neck. “Gods, Molly. Don’t do that to me.” Before walking to the coffee table and gathering the empty bottles in his arms. Molly stands now, coming over to help him. 

“She’s right, y’know?” Molly speaks up, voice a little hoarse. And Fjord internally groans. He did not expect a pity party this early, especially after such a long night. Molly and him carry the glass to the sink. “You’re gonna lose your mind if you keep this inside, darling.” And as soon as Fjord puts the last bottle in the sink, he turns towards the tiefling. 

“Molly, I appreciate the concern, really, I do.” He huffs, anger boiling up into his cheeks. “But I’m seriously fine, and I don’t need your guys’ help right now.” Fjord finishes, calmly, but frustrated. He steps past Molly and towards his room. “You can finish the rest.” He grumbles out before his door shuts and Molly is left to look at the leftovers of the band’s night. 

-

It’s 5:30 in the evening when Fjord is balancing his physics homework on one knee and his bass on the other. His lips are holding onto his pen as he reads about gravity and thinks about a new song at the same time. He’s been holed up in his room all day since last talking with Molly. He’s only gone out a few times, to get snacks and coffee. 

The wall behind him connects him from his flamboyant roommate, who’s currently singing along to Ariana Grande and very loudly stomping across the room. Fjord usually has no issues with this, as they’ve been friends and roommates for so long. At the moment, he was irritated with the tiefling, but it would be over soon. The two of them knew that. 

Fjord’s been smelling Indian food from the kitchen for a little over 15 minutes now, obviously the doing of Mollymauk, and he silently is grateful as his stomach grumbles under the work he’s been doing. With a final scribble of some math problem, he finishes his homework and throws the notebook to the other side of his bed. 

Letting out a large sigh, he cradles his bass correctly in his lap and goes back to strumming something special. His bass is one of Fjord’s most prized possessions. It’s a beautiful sea blue and green, glitter casually splayed across the colors. There’s little golden irises all over the guitar, standing it out more than it did before with the bright colors. 

Vanderen was the one who had a similar guitar. Fjord’s heart stutters as he thinks about his father-figure and the moments Vanderen taught him how to play. His own bass was a deep green that Fjord can see in his own bass. Fjord jumps out of his thoughts when a thump comes against the wall behind him. He rests his bass in its stand and stretches out his limbs. 

Molly’s footfalls are loud enough to hear over his music, and suddenly he’s peeking through Fjord’s door and saying, “Dinner’s ready- if you’re done brooding, I mean.” He teases, in Molly’s usual way, and Fjord can’t help a small laugh that teeters out of his lips. He stands and walks towards his roommate. 

“I’m done.” He smiles gently. “I’m sorry for yelling, Molly.” Fjord hums out, and they both walk towards the kitchen. Molly’s got his own playful smile across his face, and nods his head. His purple hair is strung up in a messy bun as his golden jewelry highlights his face from his horns. 

“Fjord, dear, I’ve been living here for long enough to know you’re a good man.” Molly speaks up, preparing their dishes. Fjord blinks at this, stunned at Molly’s compliment. His heart swells and he sits down at the counter once he gets his plate. Molly joins him seconds later and they dig into Molly’s expertly crafted meal. 

It’s half past nine when Fjord is flipping through channels on the TV and Molly is back to singing when Yasha trudges in. Fjord doesn’t notice her presence until he’s listening to a cupcake show and the tall woman is looking over his shoulder. “I like this one..” She says quietly. Fjord squeaks and jumps up as he turns to look at her in all of her pale, buff glory.   
She almost laughs at Fjord’s scare and decides to climb over the couch to sit next to him. Fjord, once past the initial freak, sets the remote next to him and falls into the show with Molly’s best friend. Yasha has always been something strange. Quiet, tough, but also sweeter than ever. Fjord usually enjoys her company, and her advice. She reminds him of a flower in the wind. 

“Hey,” She says then, which causes Fjord to immediately turn to face her. She doesn’t start many conversations, but when she does, it’s something she really cares about. “You talk to Molly about Hupperduke yet?” Yasha questions, her eyes never leaving the screen. And Fjord’s brain hums. 

Yasha brought up a gig in Hupperduke last Thursday, said she thought it would be a really good chance for the band to get big. She also mentioned something about her friend that would love to attend. Yasha barely talks about her own friends, so apparently this friend certainly meant something to her. Apparently his name was Caduceus Clay. Some botany student she met a while back. 

Fjord replays her question in his head and shakes it, begins picking at his tusks with his nails. “Nah, I haven’t brought it up yet. I’ve been pretty busy with classes.” He admits and he can almost see her deflate. “I’m sure Molly’s up for it though. Jester and Beau too.” Just then Molly saunters out.

“Yasha!” He exclaims, hopping over the couch and snug in between the two of them. “I heard my name, what are we talking about?” Molly hums and his tail curls gently around Fjord’s ankle. Fjord shrugs Molly’s sleeve from his arm but Yasha slightly embraces it. 

“Hupperduke.” Yasha and Fjord say at the same time and Molly looks at the both of them and raises his finely carved eyebrow. “There’s a gig- Yasha brought it up to me earlier last week.” Fjord finishes, and turns down the television. The show has 10 minutes left. Yasha’s still watching intently. 

“A gig?” Molly perks up, his tail latching tightly around Fjord’s ankle now, to the point where the half-orc curses and Molly apologizes and removes it gently. “I’m all for any gig!” He nearly shouts, and that’s that. Hupperduke is a go. 

Fjord wordlessly pulls out his phone and texts the entire group chat, typing out a quick, “Hupperduke gig.” And proceeds to explain all that needs explaining to Jester and Beau, who in reply, share selfies of each other in their own living room. Sprinkles is in quite a few. 

Yasha smiles softly and the cupcake show ends. Fjord watches another episode with them and then turns in for the night.


	2. shopping trip.

Band practice ended about 30 minutes ago, and now Jester is sliding through Instagram and squeaking every time she comes across a puppy on her feed. Her bright pink guitar rests easily against her body. Molly is resting against the wall, watching Jester with a toothpick rolling around his mouth. 

Beau and Fjord are messing around with their instruments still, silently communicating through the music. The two of them mysteriously became best of friends through long and excruciating pain of first year of college. Beau has never really known what she was doing with her life, finally on her own after her dad forced her away and out of his sight, the two bonded over familial issues. 

Whenever Molly or Jester couldn’t be at practice, Fjord always could rely on Beau for a jam session. The two were actually the ones to start the band. Soon after, Molly and Jes fell into rhythm with them and the rest was history. 

Beau was finishing up a far too dramatic drum solo, sweat dripping down her arms and the side of her face when Fjord raised a scarred eyebrow and stripped himself of his bass and rested it on its stand. She’s still going when he wipes off his own sweat from his cheek. He glances over at the two tieflings around Jester’s glittery phone and huffs and shakes his head, a gentle smile calming him down from the rigorous jam. 

Beau ends her long and powerful solo with a clash to a symbol, a drum stick flying through the air before she catches it again. It seems like everyone in this band has an obsession for the dramatics other than Fjord, but he appreciates the three of them more than he admits sometimes. Jester immediately perks up at the sound of silence filling the room and looks between the two that were continuing their practice.

“You guys finally done?” She have jokes, her accent a bright contrast from the noise of drums and bass. She’s stopped on some type of animal on the photography app apparently, because Molly is pointing at it and cooing while he twists the toothpick around his teeth with his other hand. Jester looks down briefly to also swell with joy before coming back to the task at hand of the two.

Fjord turns to Beau whos standing now, watches as she sets down her sticks and stumbles over to towards the kitchen probably for some water. Fjord realizes she’s not going to answer Jester and so he turns back to the shorter girl. “I’m pretty sure.” He speaks up, stretches his limbs. “You know we like to mess around towards the end.” He adds, and she does know. They all know, but she finds it absolutely unbelievable how long they can last.

Silently, she makes a face, that Fjord really can’t interpret, but it makes Molly snicker from above Jester. The lavender tiefling then moves, shrugs at Fjord as he raises his eyebrow in confusion and makes his way in the kitchen where Beau is. He can hear the two of them talking from here, but not clear enough to understand what about, so he tumbles over and next to Jester and lets out a breath of air. 

“We sound good.” Fjord says, thinking about their most recent practices and Molly’s singing voice taking them places. He thinks about the gig then, he’s getting giddy about it. “Hupperduke will be a blast,” He brings up, because he can’t contain his excitement, but it falls out of his mouth like a business casual talk. 

Jester closes her phone and it falls in her lap as she glances at Fjord. She has glimmers in her eyes, shining bright as she plugs a string at her guitar on top of her. “It’s about time we got another gig!” She proclaims, loud and in Fjord’s ear. He doesn’t mind though, he knows just how wild Jester is, and loves her for it. And she’s right. They haven’t had a gig in forever. With studies being too much recently, the band have been trying to put it off. Fjord has. 

He nods, smiling as big as he can because he’s happy too, she knows that. Doesn’t she? His hand comes up absentmindedly to pick at his tusk. Jester doesn’t seem to notice this actually, suddenly preoccupied with Beau joining the room again, this time with water in hand. She’s also put her hair in a more secure bun atop her head. Jester carefully unravels her bright guitar from her sitting body and hands it to Beau, who doesn’t say anything and sets it in its stand next to Fjord’s.

Molly’s yelling from the kitchen now. Something about coffee, and Fjord rolls his eyes because that’s all the singer drinks nowadays. Jester yells something back, something about milk, and Beau chugs half her bottle of water before striking up a conversation about visiting Jester’s mother soon. Fjord’s staring at the instruments circled around the room like they’re some type of magic. 

He can almost see the fizz of power radiating off of them from being used recently. His mind falls into Vanderen, into memories, and blue-green guitars and suddenly he’s thinking about red curly hair and pointy ears and- “Fjord!” He shakes his head violently and notices Beau is peering at him worriedly. She’s set down her bottle and he looks around to see Jester with her eyebrows curled up. “Bro,” She begins again, slowly, and hesitantly. “Are you okay?” 

And he nods, of course he nods because he is okay. Fjord’s been okay for a while. Just a hiccup, but he’s okay now. “I’m fine-I’m good.” He says twice, because once is never enough for the girls and they lean back, but their expressions stay the same. Molly saunters in, all hips, with coffee. He notices the strange aura in the room and immediately his fangs disappear behind his frown.

Fjord can see in all of their eyes last week. He sees the worry they had about him, and the drinking, and the morning after. He has a feeling they’re going to ask him the dreaded questions. So he clears his throat, looks to all of them, “Guys. I promise I’m alright.” And he stands. His eyes catch the window. It’s beginning to snow. He heads to his room and locks the door. 

He’s surrounded by papers, trying to study when he hears Molly’s fancy knock at his door. He sighs, pushes some of them to the side and makes his way to the door. When he opens it, Molly’s got on his usual grin, but this one has a little bit of sympathy written between his lips. “Fjord, darling,” He begins, as always, and Fjord can’t help but feel a twinge of happiness grow in his chest at his best friend. “I’m going to the shop, Pumat said he’s got some new blazers and I’m dying to try them out. Come with?” 

And Fjord does. Because Fjord loves Molly, for all the crazy and wild he is, and as much as he despises shopping, he thinks Pumat is a cool guy. So he toes on his boots, and earns a noise from Molly that was a bit too sexual, but he laughs it off. Jester and Beau had been gone for a while, and as he slips on a big jacket and scarf, Molly drapes his own over his shoulders, somehow looking like a masterpiece like he so commonly does. 

The snow is coming down hard now, and Fjord slightly wishes he was cooped up with his homework instead, but remembers quickly that he’d rather drown. Molly loops his arm through Fjord’s as they walk, and he can see a few people strolling around like they are, but more fast paced and angry. He enjoys the comfort of Mollymauk next to him.

Molly is someone so entirely strange compared to Fjord, that it’s almost impossible to imagine them being roommates if an outsider was looking in. He’s all colorful with his purple hair, purple skin, drapery over him like he’s some type of model, and Fjord barely looks normal in his clunky boots and his puffy jacket. But the half-orc enjoys Molly. Far more than he admits, and Molly knows that.

Months back, when he was sitting up in the late hours with Molly lying seductively on Fjord’s bed with a magazine in hand, the way he normally sprawls out, Fjord had stared at him and kissed him. It was weird and both of them were slightly off put by it, but they laughed it off. Fjord decided that in another universe he could’ve fallen in love with Molly. There was so much to adore about him, but not in this life, and he’s perfectly content with that. 

When they arrive at the Invulnerable Vagrant, there’s only one other person inside. She’s small and green and Fjord immediately notices her take interest in the stack of papers behind the counter. She’s way too small to see over the counter, but she’s definitely making an effort. Molly quickly finds himself at the closest rack, filled with colorful blazers and jackets that Fjord can imagine the tiefling look stunning in. 

He finds himself lingering around the other side of the counter that the small girl is at, finds himself staring at beautiful jewelry he could never afford and admiring the glistening. He can see Pumat in the back, working on something special probably, and while his gaze is at the very tall man, the bell dings above the door and he turns instinctively.   
And a man looking far too flustered in the cold comes brustling in, red hair and hollowed cheeks. A long coat and an even longer scarf wrap him up and his eyes light up when he catches the small girl, almost rushing to get to her. Fjord watches this, and then goes back to looking at necklaces. He can slightly hear the two conversate. The girl is squeaking up at the red head and Fjord almost thinks about Avantika with her red hair, but this is softer, of course it is. This isn’t her, this isn’t her bright orange hair.

He doesn’t realize he’s staring until the girl catches his eye and suddenly the man is looking to him too. Fjord’s face darkens in embarrassment and he turns away. He can’t risk lingering around the counter for any longer and he shuffles to where Molly is holding up a golden jacket to his body. “Fjord, darling” Again. Fjord looks to him, “This look good?” He asks, posing and trying different angles out in a funky looking mirror across from them. He doesn’t try to see if the two strangers are looking their way.

“Yeah, Molly,” He says, trying to find his voice after being caught like a fool. “Goes well with your jewelry.” He adds because he knows Molly needs it, feeds off it. And then he’s grinning and shoving the article of clothing towards Fjord’s chest. And Fjord rolls his eyes, knows he doesn’t look good in all these shapes and colors. Doesn’t like an open blazer showing exactly what he hates about himself.

But Molly insists with his gesture, then pulls back because “The color isn’t right.” And the two of them don’t notice the strangers in the shop coming up to them. The girl is behind the man as he clears his throat. Molly and Fjord turn, eyebrows raised. And suddenly the redhead is talking, slowly, but, Fjord recognizes the accent, Zemnian. Strange he’s so far out here, but the half-orc keeps that silent. 

“Excuse me?” He says, thick and full of concern. Fjord notices his hands have bandages wrapped around them. He looks down at the girl, notices she is hiding behind the man’s leg. “Do you need something?” And it’s asked so harshly that Fjord almost takes a step back. He’s at a loss for words and he realizes now that his unintentional staring has a habit of seeming like he’s pissed off.

The lightbulb goes off in his brain and his eyes widen and he sputters for a few seconds before he stumbles out, “I didn’t mean to stare!” Which sounds even worse because it makes it seem like they were doing something wrong, and he’s hot in the face again, stuttering again until Molly rests a hand on his shoulder and gives the strangers a sweet smile.

“Sorry, sweets, my friend here has a zoning out problem.” Molly all but slides out through his teeth and Fjord can’t help the tension that rises up to his shoulders. Molly gently rubs at it as he explains. “It is incredibly unintentional and I’m sure he’s very apologetic over staring.” And Fjord sort of feels all types of uncomfortable. Being treated like a child, being talked about like he can’t talk for himself and he opens his mouth.

Molly’s hand slips from his shoulder but his presence really is enough to hold him down on the planet. “My apologies,” Fjord begins, a sheepish smile beginning to spread across his face. “I was just thinking too hard.” He tries to explain, and it’s true, his thoughts drift into deeper things he should probably talk about, but instead, they linger in his brain and he forgets where he is. 

And the man’s face relaxes, if only a little. He nods his head and the girl comes into better view, holding out her small hand towards Fjord. She has many rings adoring her fingers and he gives her a small shake. “I’m Nott!” She says, voice loud and sweet. Fjord looks towards the man then, expecting an introduction by him as well. 

Just then, a large booming voice causes the four of them to turn to the store owner. Pumat had stepped out of the back room and is back at the front of the counter. His voice bounces across the room and his copies are surrounding the rest of the counter. Molly rushes the two of them to buy two glittery blazers and soon enough they’re out the door. Fjord doesn’t catch the redhead’s name.


	3. liam

Molly’s hair is curled beautifully on top of his head, his horns adorned with silver and blue, the light catching the jewelry with each movement. His makeup is a subtle light blue, his lips a darker blue. Currently, he’s in nothing but a white robe and large rabbit slippers as Fjord is in front of him, holding the same blazer he bought just a few days ago in front of the man.

The mirror shows Molly looking way too excited about this “dress up” game that he’s planned for Fjord before they go out to the bar with their friends. Fjord himself is only wearing his boxer briefs and quiet disliking the cold air and how visible his body is to everyone walking past his window. 

He’s brought it up three times since Molly has been pulling clothing in front of the half-orc, but Molly had assured him that no one was walking in front of the window any time soon. The blazer is different from the one the purple tiefling originally picked up at the shop. This one is a turquoise color, with a less ostentatious glimmer. When he rushed into Fjord’s room with it, he was giggling because, “Fjord, darling, this is your color!” 

Suddenly he shoves the blazer in Fjord’s hands and leaves him in front of the mirror to go rummaging through the man’s pants. “You know, you sure don’t have many appealing trousers in here,” He hears Molly muffle between a pair of the same seemingly colored black pants. Fjord rolls his eyes playfully and sets the blazer on his bed. 

“Molly, I didn’t realize I needed pretty lookin’ pants in my wardrobe.” He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest, shivering slightly at the chill his room tends to bring in. Molly stares up at him to snort and then falls back into the void of choosing black pants with even blacker pants. In the end he chooses the “darker” ones and he throws both the pants and the blazer in Fjord’s direction to change into while he searches his room for jewelry for the man. 

Fjord shuffles into the clothing like it’s fine china, and once he’s snug in the outfit, he turns to look in the mirror. He finds it almost too terrible to look at before Molly’s back inside his room but with his own earrings and necklaces. Soon enough, Fjord finds himself in beautiful shimmering gold, in his ears and around his neck. 

And he must say, the jewels surely give him a better look to himself. And Molly appears to think so as well, jumping up to smile brightly from a distance. “Wonderful!” He exclaims, claps his hands once. “I am going to get ready, but I will help fix your-” And he gestures to Fjord’s hair, wild and messy. He hasn’t shaved his undercut in a few, he definitely needs to fix that. 

Molly’s gone as soon as he says this, and Fjord hears the tiefling immediately belt a song from his room as he most likely gets ready for the night. Fjord finds himself looking at every inch of himself from the mirror, and he lets out a breath and steps back. The night’s going to be fun. They all need a break and this’ll be good for everyone.

Just as soon as Fjord backs away, he looks up to see Yasha standing in the doorway. He almost yelps. Yasha and her quiet entering will always catch him off guard. She nearly chuckles as she puts her hands on her hips. She’s wearing a black vest and dark grey ripped jeans. Her boots come up just below her knees and she’s wearing her signature black jewelry. 

Yasha’s hair is up this time, almost like a messy bun on top of her head, and she raises an eyebrow at Fjord’s outfit. The glimmer. “Molly really worked on you, huh?” She speaks, but softly in the air. Fjord can only scoff and nod his head and she smiles. “Looks good on you.” And a little tension falls from his shoulders. 

“I appreciate it,” He thanks her, and they both listen as Molly screams out song lyrics. Then he walks with her out into the kitchen where they both sit around the counter. “How have your classes been going, Yasha?” He asks, because he’s genuinely curious. The woman doesn’t talk much about her studies and Fjord wants to get to know her better. 

She shrugs, taps her fingers against her thigh in thought for a moment. “They’ve been,” She hums, “Okay. Nothing very special, but I enjoy what I do.” And they share a smile. Yasha’s major had something to do with botany the last time Fjord asked, and he assumes she’s continuing that route by the reactions she has over new flowers Molly puts in vases each week. This week’s daisies. 

Speaking of the devil, Mollymauk leaves his room then and notices the two immediately talking in the kitchen. Rushing in to give Yasha an almost kiss on the cheek(he doesn’t want to smear his lipstick), he twirls on the wood flooring to give them a glance at his outfit. He chose not to wear the similar blazer as Fjord’s, but instead is wearing a very beautiful draped pearl colored shirt and very, very tight white pants. Molly’s also wearing his golden half boots. 

He looks good, as usual, and Fjord speaks this, to which Yasha nods and Molly pretends to blush but instead lets his hair down to his shoulders and takes Fjord’s hand. He drags him towards the bathroom with a handful of hair products Fjord is terrified of. He has a razor in his other hand. 

Soon enough, Fjord’s hair isn’t a total wreck, and he actually likes the style Molly gave him. His slightly curly hair isn’t frizzy on his head as much,and slightly slicked back. He smiles in the mirror and Molly smiles back at him. “You look handsome, Fjord.” And his heart swells. When they walk out of the bathroom, he notices Beau and Jester in the kitchen with Yasha.

Jester is wearing a purple dress and she looks absolutely adorable while Beau is wearing a button up and some nice black jeans, but half the shirt is open as she leans over the side of the table to give Yasha bedroom eyes. When they catch a glimpse of the two coming out, Jester smiles brightly and comes over to squeeze Fjord’s face together.

“Fjord, you look stunning!” She squeals and wraps her arms around him in a big hug. All he can do is laugh and hug her back as Beau continues her attention on Yasha as she no doubt, is flirting with the taller woman. 

They split the cost of a Lyft and quickly make their way to the bar. Fjord barely has any time to read the sign as he is thrusted inside the building by Jester and he’s immediately greeted with loud music, hot air, and a slight sense of claustrophobia. Molly bends down to give Fjord a “see you later” kiss on the cheek and he’s immediately out of the half-orc’s sight. 

Yasha follows the lavender tiefling and Jester rushes after them both. Beau stands at Fjord’s left with her arms crossed over her chest. She leans into his space, raising an eyebrow. “Let’s hope I get lucky tonight!” She smirks then, and Fjord rolls his eyes at Beau’s constant want to get laid. If the band was popular enough, Fjord’s sure both her and Molly would be waking with groupies every morning. 

He finds himself walking towards the bar with his friend and immediately, there are drinks in their hands and Beau is talking up a short lady working behind the bar. Fjord takes a seat easily between two strangers and nurses his drink surrounded in loud music. He has no idea where the rest of his friends are, and when he turns to look around the area, he catches a glimpse of Yasha’s large frame in the middle of the dance floor. 

He turns back around to take a large gulp, and as soon as the person on his left gets up and strays off into the crowd, someone takes their place, sliding in like they own the place. Fjord blinks at how fast it all occurred and a man sits in the chair, a dazzling smile across his face. He has incredibly strong features, blonde hair, and bright green eyes.  
Fjord raises an eyebrow at the man and the man speaks up, loud over the noise around them. “Hey there! I like your jacket!” He says, excitement in his voice. His knee is a few inches from Fjord’s thigh and the man speaks up again, leaning in closer. “You look quite lonely sitting here.” 

Which is probably true. Fjord sitting by himself, friends slowly disappearing from his side, a glass of whiskey in his hand. He probably looked like a fool. Fjord can feel a blush creep up his neck as he tries a hesitant smile towards the guy. “It sure seems like that, huh?” Laughing softly, he finishes the rest of his drink and turns slightly into the man. His knee is now pressed against the side of Fjord’s thigh.

There’s something silent in the air hung over them and the man’s lips curl into a bigger smile, resting the side of his face on his hand, elbow resting on the bar. “My name’s Liam.” Slips out of his mouth, and the way his eyes crinkle at Fjord, the half-orc pieces together what’s happening here. His blush spreads across his face easily once the realization settles in. 

Fjord lets his own smile grow on his face, interest in this Liam growing every moment. “I’m Fjord.” He introduces himself, fixes the jacket around his waist better. Liam only looks up and down at him and extends a hand towards him. 

“Care to join me back at my place?”

And Fjord takes his hand, the both of them standing. Liam’s arm comes around to lead Fjord out of the building, on the way, Fjord catches Beau’s arm and they don’t have to speak to each other for her to understand what’s happening. She sends him a couple of finger guns and they walk into the cold night air. 

The wait for a Lyft to Liam’s place was put in quickly, and Liam barely gets a moment to put his phone back into his pocket before Fjord pushes him up against the brick wall, beginning to kiss effortlessly into the blonde’s mouth. He’s mouthing at Liam’s jaw when the Lyft pulls up and they have to break until they reach their destination. 

By the time they’re inside Liam’s apartment, Fjord’s hands are back on the man, pawing up and under his loose shirt. His lips are lingering on an exposed collarbone as Liam fights back groans against the inside of the front door. He leaves marks on leading up to his jaw, and they stumble towards the stranger’s room.

Fjord wastes no time stripping himself and Liam of their clothing, but Liam stops him as he’s about to slip off the blazer Molly picked out for him. He mutters out a “Keep that on, looks good on you.” with swollen, red lips, arms propped up behind him on the bed as he eyes Fjord’s body, admiring it with his beautiful eyes. 

The half-orc nearly jumps on him in retaliation and the night ends with the two of them breathing heavily in the darkness, sleep overtaking the two men easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ty sage for naming fjords fling liam, because....science. anyways, next chapter is the gig, and thats when we really get into business.


	4. meeting part 1

Yasha’s carrying the last of Beau’s drum kit out the front door of the apartment and into Jester’s van when Jester herself announces her appearance in the living room. Liam’s arm is around Fjord’s shoulders as he shoves a few skittles in his mouth. Molly’s lounging on the floor playing with a fray in the carpet as she spins around in her spot for a quick moment. 

“Are you guys ready for Hupperduke?!” She exclaims, squealing afterwards. She’s shoving her arms through her puffy white winter coat and popping a very pink bubble out of her mouth. Molly grins from his place on the floor and sits up properly. 

He throws Jester’s boot towards her from his spot and his shoulders shake in excitement. “I’m so fucking excited to make those kids’ lives a hundred percent better!” Molly laughs softly after, striking a pose from on the floor. Fjord can already imagine the types of positions Molly’s going to be in later. 

Fjord throws an orange skittle in his mouth and nods happily. “Y’all are gonna hit them hard.” He speaks up, a little muffled by the candy between his cheeks. Jester beams brightly at him as she shoves her feet into her boots. 

“We all are!” Jester replies, then throws Fjord’s own boots towards him. Molly stands then, stretching his limbs and picking his coat up. “Now come on, guys! Get ready to go!” And then she’s gone. Rushed out the door after Yasha and Beau. Liam removes his arm from Fjord and the two stand as well.

Liam’s toeing on his brown shoes when he looks over to Molly and Fjord quizzically. “You guys sure you have room for me in the van?” He questions, and Fjord is gnawing at his bottom lip too hard to pay attention. Molly nearly rolls his eyes dramatically at his dear friend, but puts on a smile and nods his head. 

“Liam, I assure you, Jester’s van is huge, you’re fine!” He gestures widely with his arms and finishes getting ready before stealing a banana from the counter and heading outside.

Fjord is zipping up his jacket now, skittles disappeared into one of his pockets as Liam turns to him. “Can’t wait to hear you tonight, babe!” The blonde winks and leaves a wet kiss to the side of Fjord’s face before exiting out the apartment. Fjord is left to the silence and chill of the room as he stuffs his hands in his pockets and sighs. 

After his night with Liam, Fjord had stayed at his apartment, snug in his bed. In the morning, he hadn’t realized what he had gotten himself into. Fjord staying so late into the next day meant something more than what he was hoping was a simple one night stand the night before. Don’t get him wrong, Fjord thinks Liam is a wonderful guy.   
He’s funny, kind, has his head on his shoulders. Liam is a respectable guy, sweet on Fjord, and a good lay as well, but Fjord doesn’t think he should be in this relationship with a man he doesn’t care for that much. It makes him feel terrible for thinking that, for even keeping Liam as a “boyfriend” or however he wanted to call it, and he assumes his friends have realized this as well, but he has no idea how to get out of it. 

Fjord has a habit of doing things that lead into big messes. Beau once told him that it was his special talent, which only made him feel even more guiltier. Fjord huffs into the air, before walking out, closing the door behind him. 

They all clamber inside Jester’s van, the blue tiefling obviously in the driver’s seat, Molly next to her. Beau, Fjord, and Liam stumble in next, Fjord cramped in the middle a little bit. Yasha finds herself in the trunk behind Beau, but she’s almost always sitting there when they ride in the van together. 

Beau turns her body a little to face Yasha better, a dazzling smirk playing on her lips as she tries to subtly flirt with the bigger woman. Fjord rolls his eyes at Beau’s never ending goal to win the pale woman over. She’s been trying for over 3 months now and Yasha hadn’t budged a bit. 

As Jester begins their ride towards Hupperduke, Fjord catches Liam smiling gently at him, and he tries to give the same one back but it sort of falls short. Jester briefly catches Fjord’s shaven down tusks in the rear view mirror and scowls. “Fjord, your tusks!” She grumbles, and Molly swings his head back to take a look at the now embarrassed half-orc. 

Fjord’s face flushes as he closes his mouth and runs his tongue over the broken down tusks in his mouth. He doesn’t say anything, and neither does Molly or Jester, but she has a disappointed looks on her face as Molly turns back to face the front. Liam cranes his neck down slightly to look at Fjord.

The half-orc only crosses his arms over his chest and Liam decides to leave it. The ride is about 2 hours, and somewhere along the line, Molly falls asleep slumped up against the window, Beau with her chin to her chest, and Liam, halfway on top of Fjord in slumber. Yasha is quiet in the back, writing something in her little journal she keeps. 

Jester clears her throat softly, looks at Fjord through the mirror again. “What’s been going on, Fjord?” She asks, quietly not to wake anyone. She has worry written on her gentle features, andFjord can only swallow the lump in his chest. “And don’t tell me it’s nothing, because this is getting almost as bad as when Molly-” She stops herself, a sore subject for the three of them still awake. 

Fjord looks down at the sleeping blonde on him, and then out the window to see green trees and road. “Jes, there’s a lot,” He begins, his voice quiet, almost fearful. “I don’t know who I am anymore.” Fjord finishes, eyes still focused out the window.   
Yasha sighs then, and Fjord forgot she was behind him, and his head almost twists to turn to face her. The journal is closed on her lap, a single flower held between her fingertips. “You’ve been through a lot.” She says, calm and she gives him a kind smile. A sympathetic one. “Stop forcing yourself into things to make yourself feel better.” 

And Fjord nearly chokes on his own saliva, Jester humming in agreement. “She’s right, Fjord.” Jester’s eyebrows are furrowed. “Like Liam.” She says even quieter. Fjord takes a glance towards the man and bites down hard on his bottom lip. “And we’re here for you. Not just Yasha and I, but you know Beau and Molly are too, right?” 

Fjord rubs at his eyes and nods his head slightly. No one says anything else and Fjord slowly falls into an uncomfortable dream in the backseat of the van. 

 

Liam’s gently shaking Fjord’s shoulder when Fjord blinks open his eyes and grumbles at the bright sunlight. It’s only the two of them in the van and he looks around in confusion. “Hey-” Liam speaks up, smile on his kind features. “Don’t worry. We’re here. Told them to let you sleep some more. Let’s get you guys set up.” His hand is light on Fjord’s shoulder and he nods, clearly not ready to speak from being woken up. 

They tumble out of the van, and into the empty venue when Beau shouts loudly, “There’s our man!” And it echoes lowly around them. Fjord huffs out a laugh and Fjord climbs up the stage to help set up with the rest of them. Liam finds a seat next to Yasha.

Fjord helps finish off the rest of Beau’s kit before working on getting his amp and bass ready. Molly’s testing out the echo in the background, dancing gracefully across the small stage. The show starts in a little over an hour and the nerves start to kick in for Fjord. 

Beau suddenly saunters up to him, drum sticks in hand. She’s chewing on a piece of jerky. “Hey, when are you dumping the blondie?” She asks, and Fjord almost drops his bass at the question. She notices Fjord’s obvious discomfort and her eyes widen slightly. “That sounded rude-shit, my bad. I just mean,” And she’s putting her hands on her hips now. “I can just tell you aren’t into it as much as he is.” 

Fjord takes a glance at Liam then, in a one sided conversation with Yasha, cheerful expression on his face. “Beau, you need to work more on thinking before you say something like that again.” He sends her a smile, remembering their conversation forever ago about the two of them watching over each other. 

Beau sends him a crooked one back, a hesitant chuckle following it. But Fjord nods his head, slowly, like he’s taking in every one of his friend’s pieces of advice. He turns back to Liam, now leaning back in his seat to stretch his limbs. Fjord sighs just as Beau clasps a hand on his shoulder. “Do it soon, man. Don’t wanna hurt him too bad.” She mutters and removes her grasp to walk towards Jester. 

Molly shows up next to Fjord then, just as he’s making sure his bass is all tuned up. “So, darling,” He begins, tail swishing happily behind him. He’s wearing his signature beautiful coat, show ready. “You prepared to rock this place to the ground?” Molly grins, a devilish smirk hidden in there, words twisted from his tongue. 

Fjord snorts, stops twiddling with his guitar, “”Molly you should know me by now,” He raises his scarred eyebrow, reminiscing on their past gigs. “We’re going to fuck it up.” Fjord hums, and he hears Jester shout, “Yeah!” behind them. 

Molly wraps an arm around Fjord’s shoulder, bringing him into his chest. “You, my dear, are always right.” And his tail curls around Fjord’s ankle like it usually does. Mollymauk is staring out into the empty crowd now, hope and excitement written on his face. He always gets like this before a show. 

Fjord has a habit of feeling quite stage frightful when they first start a show, standing up their in front of so many, the staring, the intent worry. And then Fjord’s eyes always drift to Molly, galloping across small stages, grins plastered on his face, voice smooth and loud and beautiful. And it soothes Fjord in these times. His sea legs grow stable and his confidence increases, and he owes it all to Molly’s pure joy out of doing what he loves. 

Soon enough, the hour begins to creep up on them, and Fjord watches from behind a wall at the people slowly drifting in the building. He watches a few travel towards the back, to the bar, to grab a beer and prepare for the show the band will be putting on. He lets out a big sigh before turning around and reconvening with the rest of the band. 

Jester is bouncy up and down in excitement, her hair bobbing with her. He swallows the lump forming in his throat and suddenly Yasha comes into view, a soft smile on her face. “Hey guys,” She says, halfway in the room. “My friends are here. I’ll introduce you all after the show.” Yasha finishes, smile growing, and then she’s gone. Back at the door to watch for any problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2 of meeting will be here soon cause im writing these together yehaw get ready for some babes


	5. meeting part 2

Walking on stage with his closest friends always gives Fjord a familiar tingling feeling in his stomach. Playing music with people he cares about fills him with a burst of energy, and as he walks to his place next to Molly, he can only smile widely at the emotions that run through him.

The crowd isn’t humongous, it never is. After all, their band is relatively new and small. But the people that show up, distant friends and strangers gives him a whirlwind of happiness. To be there and to play something that other people can enjoy and jump around to is an exhilarating feeling. Molly is bright in the small spotlight, all teeth and glitter and tail swishing back and forth.

He’s speaking into the mic, greeting the crowd of Hupperduke, and Fjord turns at nods his head at Beau and Jester, the two girls also beaming at the satisfaction of what’s going on. Molly then bows, finishing his piece, a wink into the crowd at a lucky stranger, and then they begin. 

Beau slowly picking up a thrashing drum beginning, rumbling Fjord’s body as he listens to it. Loud in his ears and his heart. He comes in then, plucking at the bass guitar’s strings, falling into his own world. The band always starts with covers, easing their audience into their music, their sound. And Jester soon begins to make her guitar scream with the music already being created.

When Molly sings, Fjord isn’t sure whether an angel is born, or a demon, and he grins at that conclusion, listening to the lavender tiefling’s beautiful voice, and then the whole band is together in the music. Loud and exciting, Fjord begins to notice the audience move to it, knowing the song, the lyrics, and sing casually with their friends and strangers around them.

And maybe this is the part Fjord enjoys most. When others can nod their head to the music filling the room and when they can sing the words that you created for them. Even if it is a cover, the fact that they know what it’s from, and that they, as well as you, enjoy this music, it’s almost like electricity. 

And as the night progresses, as covers end, and their own written music begins, Fjord feels alive again. It had been a while since he felt this way. Stuck in the clutter of school and his own clouded mind, he couldn’t feel this way. As he strums out his bass solo in the humid and sweaty building, his eyes light up and he scans the audience with a grin across his face, and Jester pulls back in with her own solo.

Fjord’s yellow eyes travel across a dozen of different faces, and he catches the eyes of Liam, joy in his expression as he watches the band perform, and then Yasha, arms crossed over her chest, but a pleased smile over her face. And next to her, her friend. A very, very tall firbolg man, pastels all across him, looking high as a kite, nodding his head to the music. 

Fjord almost laughs aloud at the man’s appearance. Quite the opposite of someone that should be liking their kind of music, but he shakes his head, he realizes that Yasha and this Clay guy seem so very different, but their love for flowers brought them together. 

Beau’s thrashing hard on her drum kit behind him as Molly moves around the stage, singing out lyrics that Fjord wrote himself about a year ago, and he’s sweating under the lights as his gaze passes Caduceus, and Fjord sees the redhead from the shop. The goblin girl is on his shoulders, obviously so she can see better, and the way she’s throwing her body around, it looks like she quite likes the music. The redheaded man is only smiling lightly at the music, but then the two catch eyes and a silent, questioning moment happens between the both of them before Molly is suddenly up in Fjord’s space, and Fjord’s attention is brought back to the music, and he sings with Molly before carrying on with the show. 

After the show is over, nearly all of them are chugging water bottles in the back, a silent moment for all of them. Jester begins to laugh loudly once she’s finished, a bright smile on her soft features. “That was so fun!” She grins at her friends, and with a sweaty arm, pulls them all into a group hug. Beau and Fjord sizzle for a little under the two extatic tieflings before easing in and hugging them back. 

“I love you guys,” Beau speaks up, and Fjord almost misses it, where her mouth is pressed up against Jester’s shoulder. His heart swells and he smiles as well. Molly only tugs her closer and the four of them sigh in content.

“We love you too,” Molly says, and they all pull apart with happiness eager in their bones. Just then, Yasha jogs in, and Molly turns to rush up to her, and she casually brushes his sweaty hair from his face. 

Behind her, the tall firbolg and the two Fjord and Molly met the other day follow in. Immediately, Caduceus comes up to shake hands with Jester, the two of them next to each other almost like I funny carnival skit. His voice is low, almost like he’s perpetually tired as he introduces himself. 

He does this with the rest of the band before he gestures towards the redheaded man and the goblin. “These, are my friends,” He says slowly, a gentle smile caressing his face. “Caleb Widogast is the shy one, and this-”

Fjord puts his hands on his hips, looking between all three of them. “Nott,” He smiles, remembering her greeting at Pumat’s. “We met a few days ago, actually.” Fjord shrugs, but puts his hand out towards Caleb, who he didn’t get a proper greeting with last time. 

Hesitantly, Caleb grabs his hand and they give each other a firm shake. “Pleasure,” Caleb speaks out, a stiff smile on his face. Fjord nods his head and barely sees Jester scramble towards Nott with a loud greeting of her own name. 

Beau simply introduces herself to Caleb, the two quickly finding conversation in mutual areas of being brought up in their childhood. Caduceus comes up to Fjord, and he gives the half-orc a tired but wholesome smile. “You know,” Cad begins, hands politely folded in front of him. “This could be good for you, for all of us.” And Fjord furrows his eyebrows in confusion, drops his arms to his side.

He’s about to speak up and ask what Caduceus means exactly when Yasha steps up, placing a calm hand on Fjord’s shoulder. “I’m glad you could all meet.” She flips a strand of hair from her shoulder and Fjord can slightly see the joy in her face as she says this, and all he can do is agree.

Seeing Yasha happy is always a nice wave of relaxation on all of them. Sure she may be happy all the time, but truly smiling and enjoying the moment is something so rare for them to see, that when they do, all they can do is relish in it. Molly looks away from his conversation with Nott about the gold buttons on his coat to look up and around at all of his friends, a pure smile creeping up and onto his face.

Fjord barely notices Liam coming in a few seconds later, a cold kiss to his cheek. The half-orc blinks back to reality and lets Liam slip their hands together. He leans in to whisper in Fjord’s ear, “Aren’t they nice? I met them before the show started.” He explains, and leans back, and Fjord nods, squeezes Liam’s hand slightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fjord pls be more in touch with ppl god damn
> 
> anyways find me on tumblr @arthurmorgahn and twitter @sweetmilos


	6. a flutter

It’s dark, darker than anything he’s ever experienced. His eyes flutter open and closed, open and closed, getting used to the waves crashing in his face as he begins to realize where he is. Water begins to fill his mouth, and as he sputters, spits, he can feel the panic begin to creep up his body. Left and right he thrashes around.

He’s screaming but nothing’s coming out. Only the sound of waves crashing and rain pelting the surface. He’s kicking his legs to stay afloat, but it’s getting darker, until a wave crashes against him and he’s sinking. Under the blue, blue sea, to black. And he screams harder, throat aching now.

As he hits the bottom of the ocean, and sand puffs around him, his eyes flutter closed, and then:

Open.

The darkness is still there, Fjord is blinking up at the ceiling of his room, and he can feel a few tears sliding down the side of his face. He quickly wipes at them and turns to look at his clock. 4:50 am. He groans and smashes his face into the pillow. This is the third dream he’s had of drowning. Certainly not in a row, but the dreams have been worrying him. 

Usually Fjord has been pushing them back, carrying on with his day and forgetting about them, but it’s becoming annoying. Waking at an ungodly hour with tears in his eyes and some type of guilt in his stomach. He rolls over in his sheets. 

-

When he yawns out of his room at 10:30 in the morning later, he doesn’t expect to see Nott upside down on the couch and Caleb reading a book next to her. It’s silent in the apartment, and if he hadn’t seen the two on the couch, Fjord is sure he wouldn’t have noticed their guests. 

He rubs at his neck as he walks in, hair a mess on top of his head. “Caleb? Nott?” He questions, voice hoarse from the little sleep he got. “What’re y’all doin’ here?” He raises an eyebrow, before stumbling his half-awake body to the kitchen to start some coffee. Caleb immediately perks up when he notices Fjord’s appearance, Nott sitting up to see him past the counter. 

Caleb sets down his book once he puts in his bookmark and hums gently. “Mollymauk invited us over for tea,” He starts, looks around the room for a bit. “But it looks like even he isn’t awake.” Caleb finishes, standing up. Nott pulls her hood up and climbs up to sit on the top of the couch.

Fjord, finally pouring himself a cup of coffee, nearly chugs it in one go before joining them back in the living room. His hands warm around the mug and he thinks for a moment, “Sorry guys, but Molly would be singing at this time of day if he were here.” Fjord shrugs, leans back on the wall behind him. Nott huffs her little chest and hops off the couch to search through Molly’s room.  
Fjord only shrugs again and smirks. Sneaky little girl. Caleb clears his throat then, confusion written on his face. “Strange,” He says, mostly to himself. He tucks a piece of ginger hair behind his ear. Fjord watches it, almost lingers on the action, thinks about a set of other ginger locks. He pulls himself out of it and watches from the corner of his eye as Nott rummages through things. 

“That,” Fjord takes a sip of the coffee, “Is certainly a way to describe him.” He chuckles into the mug, “But he’s definitely my best friend. You’ll get used to his tendencies.” He finishes, and Nott comes out, shrugging her little shoulders and standing next to Caleb.

“Maybe he’ll be back. We haven’t tried calling yet, Caleb.” She mentions, pulls Caleb’s phone from his pocket, searching for Molly’s number in the contacts. It rings for a while before Molly answers, and Nott pouts out her lips before loudly talking into the phone. “Molly where are you?”

The two bicker for a little while before she hangs up and silently puts Caleb’s phone back. Fjord raises an eyebrow as she continues to stay quiet before Caleb speaks up. “So? He coming, or are we just bothering Fjord when he obviously did not expect guests.” And Fjord’s eyes widen. He didn’t realize Caleb would care too much about Fjord’s feelings about this. 

“Oh, don’t worry,” He protests, setting his mug on the counter. He’s still wearing his pj pants with the anchors all over them. “I have no problem, seriously guys.” And he offers them a smile. Nott smiles back just as bright, her teeth wide and sharp. Caleb only gives in a little, and Nott sticks her hands into her pockets.

“Oh yeah he said he’d be here in a few.” She brings up, and Caleb nods his head, finds his seat back on the couch and rests. Nott climbs back on the top of the couch. 

Fjord yawns behind his hand and lets out a breath. “You guys want anything before he gets here?” He asks, tilting his head to the side. Caleb’s already deep in reading and Nott is back upside down and Fjord just nods his head slowly. “Alright, help yourself.” Before trudging to the bathroom for a well needed shower.

By the time Fjord is out of the shower and properly ready for the day, Molly had arrived. The three of them are in the kitchen at the counter drinking tea. Molly, himself is dramatically waving his hands back in forth in conversation when Fjord walks back in. “Ah!” Molly immediately looks to his friend, “Nice of you to join us!”

Fjord laughs, scoffs, and pulls open the fridge in search for lunch. “I should be the one saying that to you, Molly.” He teases, pulls out an apple before shutting the fridge door. “I had to entertain your guests here, while you were a mile away.” He bites into the fruit, ignoring how his tusks ache with each chew. 

Caleb’s holding a teacup gently in his wrapped up hands, a small smile on his face as he watches Nott chug all of it within seconds. He looks up from his goblin friend and to Molly and Fjord. “He’s right, Mollymauk,” He starts, picking up a cookie from the platter in front of him. “But Fjord, c’mon now, we’re your guests as well.”

The half-orc fumbles through his brain at that, realizing he made it sound like he didn’t care for the two being his friends. The gig was only two weeks ago and everyone was getting along great. Jester’s been trying to set up a Thursday night, movie night with everyone. Everything is going well. And he kind of feels guilty with the fact that he said that about Caleb and Nott.

The inseparable pair were truly kind. While Caleb wasn’t the most confident speaking and seemed to be only looking out for himself and Nott, he was a decent friend. Nott too, being loyal to them all, even getting super close with Jester, becoming even better friends. 

Fjord clears his throat, sets the apple down briefly. “My apologies, Caleb.” He lends a smile, sympathetic and he leans over the counter next to Molly. “You two are welcome here anytime.” He adds, picks up his apple again and continues to have his lunch.

Caleb laughs a little, and Fjord smiles at that, noticing how the shorter man doesn’t laugh much around their friend group. “You know,” He starts, sips his tea, and bites into his cookie. “It is strange how we met before your show. I can remember you saying you were sorry so scared. What did you think I was going to do, kill you?” 

Fjord huffs, juts out his bottom lip and points at Caleb accusingly. “Hey now, you had a threatening look!” He held up his hands in defense, and Molly looks between the two, a curious expression dangling from his eyes. His tail found its way back around Fjord’s ankle. Nott is silently counting the buttons Molly gave her a week ago.

Caleb looks up at Fjord, blue eyes gentle and calm in the presence of his friends. He smiles, one corner of his lips tilting up further than the other, and Fjord’s heart stutters a little in his chest. Kindly, he shares a smile with the man, and that’s when Fjord notices Nott leaning far too close towards him, big eyes squinted and lips jut out. 

He raises an eyebrow, chuckling nervously under her scrutiny and clears his throat. “Well y’all,” He begins, leans back from the counter and tosses the apple core in the trash. “I must be goin’, meeting Jester for coffee.” Fjord feels the release of Molly’s tail as he pats a gentle hand on his friend’s back. “Have a good time!” He finishes, ruffles Nott’s hair before sending another smile to Caleb.

When he trudges out the door, it’s then when he looks at his watch, the time being almost forty-five minutes earlier than the time he and Jester planned on. He tries not to focus on the face that he knows exactly why he had to get out of the apartment so early. Fjord shoves his fists into his coat pocket and enjoys the cold air blowing across his heated face.


	7. silence

Liam’s pressing wet kisses across Fjord’s jaw in the privacy of his room one evening, soft music coming from the record player on the desk and Fjord’s hand is loosely hanging on Liam’s back. The half-orc’s eyes flutter closed at the feeling, but his mind has been drifting to a new song he has been working on. He hadn’t told the rest of the band about it yet, mostly because he wasn’t so sure of it yet, but he’s super excited for it.

He’s mentally coming up with a bass line in his head when Liam’s messy blonde hair is suddenly no longer spread across Fjord. He’s sitting up, lips red from the kissing they were doing earlier. “Fjord.” He speaks up, and Fjord’s eyes open fully now, noticing the lack of kisses and the coldness the air brings to the wet spots on his neck.

Fjord sits up on his elbows now, thoughts of his song swiped to the side. “Fjord, you’re not liking this.” Liam states, sitting back on his legs and crossing his arms over his chest. Fjord begins to shake his head, opening his mouth to speak up, to deny what he knows is the truth. To lie. Liam only sighs, looks down at the ground for a moment. “You’re practically in another dimension, this is-” He pauses, “This is stupid.” 

Suddenly the blonde is standing, shrugging on his jacket that was ungracefully thrown to the ground earlier. Fjord’s sitting up full now, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “Liam, c’mon, I don’t know what you mean,” He pleads, watches as Liam starts tugging on his boots. He stands now, “Babe, there’s a lot on my plate-” Fjord tries, doesn’t expect the glare that Liam sends him.

“A lot on your plate?” He’s stopped tying his laces, now looking at Fjord dangerously. “With that excuse, you’ve had a lot on your plate for the past two months 24/7.” He grunts, finishes lacing the boot. Fjord reaches out to do something, anything at this point, but Liam is shaking his head and stepping back. “Call me when you can handle a relationship, Fjord.” 

And Fjord follows him out his bedroom door, like a lost puppy being stranded. The front door slams shut when Fjord reaches the living room. Silence. And then, “Holy shit.” Fjord immediately turns towards the voice, catches Molly lounged on the sofa with a smoothie in hand. Their eyes are widened red at what just happened and Fjord groans before slouching down on the other side of the sofa of them.

More silence in the cold apartment and then, “Are you okay?” Molly asks, and Fjord notices how they lean in a little bit, concern written on their face. Fjord blinks quietly at his hands, fingers fumbling around themselves. The purple tiefling then scoots closer towards him, sets their smoothie on the coffee table. “Fjord?”

Fjord’s eyes drift from his hands to Molly’s concerned face. “He’s right.” He says, slightly above a whisper. His voice cracks and he clears it, tries to cover up his emotions bottled up. Molly shakes their head, wraps an arm around Fjord’s shoulder. “Liam is a great guy and I-” He stops himself, brings a hand to cover his face. “I feel terrible.”

Mollymauk only rubs Fjord’s shoulder gently, trying to ease his pain. “Listen,” They mumble, and they’re staring at each other intently now. “I know you don’t want to hear this, darling, but now you can focus on yourself.” Molly fumbles over their words a little longer, “You deserve happiness, Fjord, but you should know bringing Liam in as a mask for that kind of stuff isn’t healthy.”

Once Molly’s finished, Fjord lets out a shaky sigh, brings up his knees to his chest. “Molly, I’m sorry.” He says, looks back to the tiefling. “I should have listened to you all.” And Molly only curls Fjord into their chest more. They press a soft kiss to Fjord’s forehead, and the half-orc feels his eyes well up, but he blinks passed it. 

“You don’t have to apologize, dear.” Molly continues, rubs his back a little. “Here, we’ll turn on a movie to try and get your mind off of it.” They suggest, reaching to grab the TV remote. In just a few moments, a movie is playing softly in the background, and Fjord falls asleep in Molly’s grasp, grateful to have such a wonderful best friend. 

-

 

Fjord’s writing meaningless things to him in his notebook for class two days later when he gets a call. His phone vibrates from across the room, and he stares at it as it shakes the desk slightly. When he reaches it, his eyes graze over the name. Avantika. He’s stuck, watching his phone light up and seeing the name spread over its entirety. The last second, he picks it up and presses “accept”.

It’s silent for the first few seconds and then. “Fjord,” In a familiar French accent that Fjord feels all over his body all of the sudden. He opens his mouth, but he’s too shocked to say anything yet, he feels a wave of cold wash over his back. “Are you there?” Comes next, in such a sick and sultery way that Fjord almost throws the phone with his memories.

She waits then, and Fjord almost believes she’s going to hang up when he says, “Avantika?” So quietly it’s on its way to become a whisper. He can almost see her grin from across the line, and he clears his throat. “Why are you calling me?” Fjord says more confident now, curious, but also on edge. 

Avantika wastes no more time, “Can’t a girl miss someone?” She almost sings out, and Fjord feels the similar goosebumps roll up his arms. He can picture her fingers in her bright orange hair, the curls bouncing with every movement. He can picture her cold eyes on him.   
“Don’t call me again.” Fjord says instead, presses ‘end call’ and tosses his phone on his bed. He doesn’t realize his chest is heaving until he’s sitting on the floor, back pressed against the wall. What he doesn’t expect is someone other than Molly knocking and then opening the door. 

There, in front of him, is a confused looking Caleb, blue eyes hinted with concern. Fjord can barely see past the hair in this moment, closing his head around his arms as they fit on his knees. Caleb speaks up then, “Fjord?” Calmer than Avantika, worry, not superiority. “Are you okay?” He asks into the cold air.

There’s a pencil lying on the ground close by Fjord’s sock clad foot, his homework still sprawled across his sheets, now joined with his buzzing phone. He doesn’t notice Caleb is at his side until he’s already there. He can see the hesitance in the action, and the Zemnian man slowly lays a hand on Fjord’s. “I know what this is.” He says, quiet into the air, but he knows Fjord is listening. “Can you breathe in and out for me, Fjord?” Caleb tries.

Fjord takes a moment, panic still filling him around the edges. And he focuses on Caleb’s voice, breathes in, shakily. Out. And Caleb is there saying “Good start. You’ll be okay.” Gentle, and Fjord tries again, squeezes his eyes shut. The man’s hand is still lingering on his, and Fjord feels a slight comfort in it.

After a few more long moments of Caleb coaxing Fjord out of it, Caleb removes his hand slowly. Fjord turns to him, face to face. And Caleb offers a slight smile, resting his hand back in his lap. “You feeling better?” He asks.

Fjord nods his head, “Thank you, Caleb.” He says, and almost reaches out to hug him. He doesn’t, only sits, feels the ache in his back and ass and doesn’t comment on it. That’s when the two of them notice how much time went by. “I didn’t realize you were visiting.” He brings up, wonders where Molly is.

Caleb shrugs his shoulders slightly, “Nott and I were coming back from the library. Decided to stop by.” Fjord nods his head, looks to the slightly ajar door. Before Fjord can ask about Nott, Caleb continues. “I texted her a little bit ago to go on ahead.” 

The half-orc feels tension in his chest, fixes his seating position to be more comfortable. “Caleb, Thank you, again.” He says, and Caleb hums. “Really.” And they spend a few seconds admiring each other silently, distantly. Fjord stands then, Caleb too, and they walk out of the room.


	8. caduceus

Caduceus’ garden has a strange aura surrounding it. Fjord glances around the (nearly) dying plants to get a better grasp of the Clay household. Caduceus is sat perched on a stump, tea in his hand and looking quite content. It’s a bit chilly out, but it isn’t as bad as the past few weeks have been. 

“Nice place you have.” Fjord says, breaking the silence of the crisp air. He doesn’t really know what else to say. When he arrived at the taller man’s house, he found his way to the backyard, found Cad himself slumped out in the cold. Fjord turns, points a little behind them. “You live right next to the cemetery.” He mentions, wonders if it was purposeful considering the weird energy Cad brings about.

The man, dressed in a long light pink coat nods, happy smile resting on his face as he takes in his garden, and apparently the graveyard next to it. “It’s quite wonderful.” He says, and Fjord almost raises an eyebrow but shoves his fists in his pockets instead. “Glad you could make it here.” He adds, takes a sip of the tea.

Fjord shrugs his shoulders a little sheepishly. His eye catches the sight of a lilly faltering in the weather. “Figured I could talk and hang with you more.” The half-orc admits, sends Caduceus a gentle smile. 

“Of course.” Is all the Firbolg says in response and Fjord can almost see his joints spring to life as he stands up, his boots crinkling the half-frozen grass below them. “Come, you’ll catch cold out here.” And then he’s off to walking towards the back of the house. 

Fjord jogs slightly to catch up, and accepts Cad’s polite gesture, entering the house first. He immediately feels his body warm up, smells a fire burning, and some stew cooking up. It’s been a while since he’s been in a place that actually seems lived in. He shrugs off his coat easily, and Cad easily grabs it from him and hangs it on a hook nearby. He does the same with his own jacket.

Fjord blinks around the room, looking around at the careful placement of the shoes at the door and the mat under him that says “We’ve Missed You!” in beautiful cursive. He feels claustrophobic for a moment, thinking of what he could have had if he wasn’t balanced from one orphanage to the next in Port Damali. 

Caduceus is leading him into the living room now, a plush white carpet under his feet, and he rests on the small sofa. “I’ll get you some tea,” The Firbolg smiles, and disappears into another doorway to fetch Fjord the drink. His yellow eyes wander towards the pictures on the walls, sees a lot of pink and a lot of happy smiles. 

He can’t help but to smile back at the adolescent Cad and what are presumably his sisters. There’s so much of a homey feeling in the room that Fjord feels pressure in his chest, fiddles with a stray thread from his sweater and waits. When Caduceus returns a few minutes later, he’s holding his original teacup, and another mug for Fjord.

They sit in silence for a few moments, Fjord trying the actually incredible tea and Cad staring into the flames of the fire while smiling like he’s crazy. His head turns after a while and he shrugs his shoulder in Fjord’s direction. “The tea should help calm your nerves,” He explains, sinks deeper into the couch that he seems too large in. “At least I hope.” 

Fjord wants to ask how he knew the man was nervous, but it seems the pastel one has that way about him. Always knowing what’s up with everyone. And he doesn’t make a big deal of it either, always there to lend a helping hand. Jester once told Fjord about a time that Cad knew she was worried about her father details one night. He’s kind of intimidated by it.

Fjord laughs, the nerves rippling out of it, and he scratches the back of his head. “It’s marvelous,” He compliments, takes another sip. “I’m assuming you can see I’m not in the best of shape.” Fjord decides to cut to the point, smile leaving his face, not yet a frown but also not exactly content. He looks up to see Caduceus has a sympathetic look about him.

“I’ve noticed since the day we met, mister Fjord.” He admits, and sets his teacup on the little desk to his left. Fjord nearly explodes with the heat that rides up to his cheeks, but Cad folds his hands on his lap. “Don’t worry, it is no big deal. I can tell you have been through a lot.” Which only causes Fjord to panic some more.

Of course he expected this from the man, but now that it’s finally out of his mouth, and he’s so gentle about the entire thing, Fjord feels embarrassed, he takes a big gulp of tea. “You aren’t,” He chuckles a bit to himself, “You aren’t wrong. I’ve had a rough year.” Fjord finally lets slip through his mouth, and Caduceus nods his head slowly. 

He waits in silence for Fjord, and in that silence, the popping of the fire comforts the both of them. “Have you ever been in love, Caduceus?” He asks, and he’s genuinely curious, but he’s also looking for someone to tell him he isn’t wrong to be feeling what he’s feeling. 

A succulent is resting on the desk next to Cad’s teacup. Another sip of tea.

“Unfortunately, I have not.” He explains, gestures to his house. “I haven’t escaped the area all that much. But, I don’t mind. I love it here.” Caduceus smiles, gentle and waiting, Fjord can imagine a small boy running around the house with a sun hat falling off his face. 

He plays with the thread again, it comes loose and he drinks from his mug. “I was in love.” Fjord swallows, his knuckles are pale against the mug. His eyes drift from his friend to the shaggy carpet to the ceiling to the orange flames. “She was adventurous, daring, confident.” He begins to describe her, memories reeling through his head. “And she had..these bright orange curls, beautiful eyes. She was gorgeous.”   
Caduceus sets his empty teacup further away from himself. He watches as Fjord is trying to smile, sadly, at the memories of a relationship that turned into something terrible for him. He wants to reach out to the half-orc, but remembers some people have their spaces, so he leans in a little bit, to show he’s listening. 

Fjord hums into the mug, thinks about Avantika. “Then things fell apart,” He mumbles, “She was the only person who really knew me, who understood things that no one else could. You can’t blame me for falling in love with her.” He tries, mostly to himself, looks back to the fire. “She used me.” 

He lets out a strained sigh, shifts his position on the sofa and feels the creak of the floor as he moves. Cad is still listening, soft expression and even softer eyes. Fjord almost feels like he doesn’t deserve to be in the presence of such a man. “The sad part, is that I knew. I knew for so long, and tried to tell myself that it wasn’t true.” He sets the mug down. He remembers so much of their nights after he realized.

Fjord remembers the long, long nights with her, of the curly orange hair, and the pain that was chasing after it. And it only got worse the more it continued. “One night she drove off, took the necklace I had, and all I saw was her fucking hair in the wind, and the gold rings.” Fjord clears his throat, remembers the way the gold shimmered in the street lights. 

Caduceus waits, and when he knows Fjord is finished, he lets out a hum. Nothing exciting, but Fjord picks his head up and looks to his friend. More quiet. “I am so sorry about that Fjord.” He speaks, calm into the air. Fjord feels a slight shift in the tension in his shoulders. “I can’t imagine what that was like for you.”

The half-orc feels like he might cry then, full blown sobbing, but the pop of the fire hits him awake and he hangs his head low. He hears, “We are all here for you,” A pause, “You know that, right?” And Fjord remembers what his closest friends told him, and he remembers Caleb helping him through a panic attack the other day.

And this time he does cry, slowly, quietly, a tear slips passed him, and he lets the rest out freely. Covering his face with a hand, he wipes urgently at the wetness. Cad only moves to rest a kind hand on Fjord’s shoulder. “You deserve better than that.” Caduceus finishes, and Fjord removes his hand from his face to wrap both arms around a friend he didn’t know he needed. 

 

Fjord feels like cotton is bunching up in his mouth, and he chews on it eagerly when Caduceus’ sister walks in. She’s tall, maybe only just a few inches shorter than her brother, and she wears a beautiful floral dress, not exactly the clothing for the season, but Fjord doesn’t dwell on that. She walks into the room, smiling lazily down at her phone when she notices her brother and his guest.  
Caduceus leans back, face lighting up at the sight of his sister. “Bernadette!” He greets her, and she tilts her head slightly, looking between the two of them. Cad smiles and gestures towards Fjord. “We have a guest,” And Fjord gives her an awkward wave. “This is Fjord, Fjord, this is Bernadette.” She almost immediately pockets her phone into the side of her dress and walks fully into the room.

The tall woman grins and holds out a hand towards Fjord, who casually shakes it. “Pleasure to meet you.” Fjord ducks his head briefly and sends her a kind smile. She has purple freckles across her nose and her hair is way curlier than Cad’s but anyone could see the two were siblings. 

She nods excitedly, looks at her brother and straightens up, putting her hands on her hips. “Caduceus, I love meeting everyone of your friends that come here!” She chirps, and Fjord raises his eyebrow as Cad flushes a brighter pink. “You know,” She directs to Fjord now, “He doesn’t bring many friends here, but I’m glad he’s coming out of his shell more!” Bernadette exclaims and all Fjord can do is blink up at her.

The girl speaks way faster than Caduceus, and it takes everything in Fjord to catch up to her, but he turns to his friend, giving him a calm smile, as Cad groans and begins to stand. He’s mumbling something to her as he ushers Bernadette out of the room. Fjord chuckles a little, taking in their dynamic, and when Cad returns to his seat next to Fjord, he feels a little bit better.

“So sorry about her,” Caduceus apologizes and Fjord waves his hands up in the air to protest but Cad is still blushing and rubbing at the scruff at his chin. “You look to be feeling a bit better though.” And Fjord lets out a breath, relaxation finally sinking into his bones.

“You know, I really do feel better.” And he leaves with fresh air in his lungs and a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so we dont know caduceus' sister's name so cay from the widofjord server, thank u for my life(and bernadette's tbh)
> 
> hope you enjoyed this more relaxed chapter, and please please comment how you feel about it. (:


	9. studying.

It’s exam week and Fjord is squinting at the text he’s been studying for the past hour, rereading over and over again. His head aches slightly and he deeply wishes he went outwith Molly to eat dinner. The tiefling had nearly thrown herself into the room,dazzling smile on as she asked Fjord to join her at a new restaurant in town. Fjord obviously declined, mumbling about his exams in a couple of days.

His stomach rumbles, he sets the book on his bed and rubs at his tired eyes. Pulling his phone from his hoodie pocket, he absentmindedly scrolls through his text messages. Most recently, Jester apologizing for not being able to study with him. She’s been hanging around Calianna a lot more as of late, a very sweet girl from across town. The two met in the mall looking for bows. Fjord doesn’t know much, but he’s glad Jester is talking with others, bonding with someone other than the band who definitely already knows her well enough. Fjord’s not a bad guy, he isn’t, but sometimes Jester is a lot to handle, and everyone needs to take a break from her rambunctious tendencies. 

He huffs and continues to scroll through old messages, and when he lands on Caleb’s, his thumb hovers over the screen for a moment. The last time he talked to the redhead was when he was having a panic attack. Not really a good impression for someone that just entered the friend group. But even though, Caleb was supportive through the whole thing, and Fjord has never been so thankful for a stranger that’s now a good friend.

A small smile creeps onto his face now, and he presses down on the contact picture. Sending a quick text, “Need a study buddy?” The text reads, and Fjord looks it over, once, twice, five times. He sends it, throws his phone on the bed. 

His eyes drift back and forth to the phone lying quietly on his sheets, but his mind tells him to continue focusing on his paper, on studying. He taps his pen against the pages, eyes fluttering from the phone to the tapping. 

A familiar text tone shakes him out of this zone, and he fumbles his book off his lap and he sticks the pen between his teeth as he reaches to look at his phone screen. When he unlocks the phone, he sees Caleb’s message under his. He shifts the pen in his mouth slightly. It reads, “I could do with some company while working. Sure.” 

Fjord quickly types a response, something about where they were to study, and as soon as he gets an answer, the half-orc is out the door with his book bag and his hat slung over his ears. 

The wind pushes against his coat, causing him to shiver in the air, but his mind travels to thoughts of Caleb, and he pretends he doesn’t notice the warmth filling his chest.

When he arrives at the small coffee shop, he noticeably can see the comfort of the place, simply by looking through the windows. The bell at the top of the door rings as he enters, and the barista behind the counter looks up, giving him a kind smile. He returns it and his eyes shift through the liminal people in the room.

They land on Caleb stuffed into the corner of the shop, scarf close to his face and strands of hair falling into his eyes. He’s also wearing glasses, which shape his face nicely, and is intently reading his book on the coffee table. Fjord slips his hat off and shuffles over to his friend, offering a smile. 

Caleb looks up, shoves his glasses back up his nose. “Ah! Fjord.” He says, nodding his head and gesturing towards the chair across from him.   
Fjord gladly takes the seat and begins peeling his coat off his shoulders. “Glad I don’t have to study all by myself,” He says, now pushing books onto the table. “It gets boring after a while.” 

Caleb hums in response, tapping his highlighter against his papers, reaches out to push a coffee towards Fjord. “I got you a coffee, hope you don’t mind.” He says, almost sheepishly, and tugs his own coffee cup closer to his chest. 

The half-orc takes a sip of the drink, feeling his cheeks heat up with the warmth that floods through him. “I appreciate it, Caleb.” He says, soft. The music that fills the coffee shop is of gentle jazz, loud enough to hear, but quiet enough to work or study in. 

Fjord silently thinks the warm orange lighting in here goes well with Caleb’s appearance, but he folds that thought deep down inside and returns to the page he was reading back at home, this time feeling comfort in being with someone during this stressful time.

The day goes by, pages turning, coffee cups empty, and jazz music calming the two boys’ senses. Fjord notices when it gets dark and stretches his arms above his head. He lets out a large yawn and watches as Caleb sets his glasses down on the table. 

“Were you very productive?” Caleb asks, resting his arms in a comfortable position on top of his books. He has a hint of a smile lingering on his mouth and his hair is tucked neatly behind his ears. 

Fjord runs a hand through his black hair and shrugs his shoulders. “I did the best I could do for studying.” He admits, catching a glance at his phone to find the time. He notices it’s nearing 6 in the evening. “What about you?” 

Caleb looks down at his notes. Organized colors across his pages and plenty of notes to study from. He sheepishly smiles up at Fjord. “Pretty good.” He settles on, closing his notebook. 

The half-orc can’t help the warmth that spreads to his cheeks, and mentally curses himself for acting like a teenager around Caleb’s soft voice in this calming room. He shuffles his books inside his bag, catching a glance at the barista in the far corner lazily wiping down a table. “Looks to me like you’ll pass exams easily.” Fjord gestures to the ginger’s well taken notes, a playful look on his face. 

Caleb shrugs his shoulders, also putting away his things. “I like reading,” He admits, and Fjord nods his head, remembering times he’s seen the man with a book in his hand nearly everywhere they went. And every time he shouts out, “Look for books!” When a friend heads out to the store. So he’s noticed, the slight grins Caleb has on his face when he turns a page, when he closes it to the cover. 

Caleb has a weird impact on the friend group as a whole. To Molly, he couldn’t enjoy the human more, teasing him on end about his nerdy interests and messy red hair. To Beau, they quickly became close friends, and Fjord doesn’t even know how, but they seem inseparable at points, and to Jester, a soft wave at the ocean. The two of them treat each other with such carefulness, with grace. They share stupid jokes around the living room when Fjord’s entering with popcorn, and the smiles they leave behind are almost mischievous. 

And to Fjord, it’s more in depth than the rest of the band. Fjord is hard to get to know, constantly making smug comments to cover his feelings, but ever since that time with Caleb in the apartment, Fjord just feels, not that he owes the man anything, but rather, feels content that he knows someone else understands him in the world. It’s cheesy, he knows that, but he still smiles at Caleb when he mentions doing it again sometime.

They’re friends, this is simply what they’ll do for now on. Talk and study, and hang out more often than not and without Molly sometimes, and Fjord really tries to ignore the ache in his chest, so quiet and so low that he barely notices it until the man in front of him stands from the table. 

A next time couldn’t come so soon, and Fjord stands as well as he slings his bag over his shoulder and when he hands Caleb his glasses, and his scarred fingers touch Fjord’s, his lip quirks up, only slightly, and Caleb mumbles a “Danke.” into the coffee shop.

They walk out of the building together, hat now firmly against Fjord’s head, and he watches Caleb tug a hood over his bright hair and send a wave towards his friend, walking off in the opposite direction.

Fjord wants to think about him more, he decides standing in front of the shop, snowfall limited, but continuous, and he shuts his eyes and sighs. The cold air wakes him up a little bit, and he walks back to the apartment thinking of lyrics to his new song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back! i feel like i say this every update but im sorry its been a month. im not feeling very well recently but i needed to get this out!
> 
> please let me know what you think!


	10. talk

Midterms suck as usual. Fjord finds himself staring helplessly at his paper in front of him, his brain breaking down with each word he reads. He’s almost sure he’s going to fail before he even gets to the questions, but once he does, he’s never been so grateful for studying with Caleb.

He passes all of his exams, and by the time he ends up back at the apartment, his face is squished against his pillow and he’s snoring softly. 

And even though his recent dreams have been occupied by images of drowning and coughing up water, and staring, so much staring, Fjord is happy he can finally rest. 

But it doesn’t feel like it. Ever since Fjord started college, he hasn’t been sure what he wanted to do. A little inkling pushed him towards physics, and so there he went. But he trudges through the classes and homework with cotton balls in his ears. This wasn’t it. And he’s running out of options soon. 

He’s only in school for the scholarship. It was such a great opportunity and he knew he couldn’t pass it up. Fjord’s only wondering now if it’s even worth it considering his giant lack of interest. He decides it is, simply because he wouldn’t have met his best friends to this day if it weren’t for his willingness to go to college. 

“You look like you’re thinking a bit too hard there, Fjord.” Molly comments one day. He’s biting into an apple and twirling a bracelet on his fingertip. He’s right, Fjord has been thinking about this entire thing way too much recently. He’s thinking it’s coming with the dreams. 

The half-orc grumbles and sits up. “I’m good.” He settles on, and switches the channel on the TV. Fuzzy voices fill the room as Molly raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow and shrugs his shoulders. 

“ ‘Kay.” The tiefling mumbles into a bite of the fruit. A few moments of silence passes, the only sound being the current show in front of them, and the absent minded tapping of Fjord’s fingers on his leg. “By the way, when are you asking Caleb out?” 

Fjord coughs at the questions, choked on his own spit as his face heats up and he turns towards his roommate, confusion on his face, mouth gaped open. “What?” The man asks, sputtering out. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Mollymauk only gives Fjord a look. “I’m not stupid, darling.” He smirks behind his apple. “You like him.” He says matter of factly. And Fjord knows he can’t lie to Molly, at least not easily. So this is only making his head scream louder as the lavender tiefling talks about it so casually. 

“Molly..” Fjord turns away to pick at his jeans. A loose thread breaks.

“You don’t have to admit it to me, or to anyone in fact.” Molly speaks up again, obviously notices the quietness Fjord started talking in. “But, you should maybe do something about it.”

And he gets up from his spot on the couch, tossing his apple core in the trash on his way to his room. Leaving Fjord to his thoughts again, and his anxiety. 

But he supposes Molly is right. He hadn’t put much thought into it at first, mostly due to the fact that he just fell out of a relationship with Liam. Fjord’s skin crawls at the possibility that the same happens with Caleb. Then the entire friend group would break apart like the granola bar he’s snacking on right now. 

And even Liam is right about Fjord, even now, weeks after the rough break up. The half-orc isn’t necessarily put together, and every so often it creeps up on him that he may never find his happiness in the future. 

He doesn’t even notice the picking he’s doing at his tusks until it’s too late and he’s groaning into his palms. He slightly wishes he could go to Caduceus about this, considering the tall man already helped guide him in part of the issue. 

He isn’t so sure Cad is well versed in romance or relationships though, which makes the situation even more complicated for Fjord. Molly will only tease him until he tells the ginger. 

-

Fjord doesn’t know why he goes to Beau. There are so many reasons not to, but he’s already at her and Jester’s door and she’s standing there in her sweats, looking vaguely irritated. He offers her a tight smile as she opens the door further to let him in.

“What’re you doing here?” She mumbles, her voice edging on exhaustion. Fjord probably should have thought more about the time before visiting. It’s eight in the morning, and he knows damn well Beau hates getting up so early in the morning on weekends. 

He clears his throat, peering around the area, trying to guess if the blue tiefling is here or not. “Just wanted to talk.” He says, shrugging off his coat and hanging it on the hanger by the door. 

Beau shuts it and crosses her arms over her chest, making her way to the kitchen. Fjord can hear the coffee machine whirring before she gets there and follows her in. She’s leaned up against the counter raising an eyebrow at Fjord when he looks more for Jester.

“She’s gone to visit her mom.” She explains, jutting out her lip. “What’s so important that even Jester can’t hear?” 

The coffee machine comes to a halt and Beau turns around to pour herself a black coffee. She holds up the cup to Fjord, a silent gesture to ask if he wants any. He nods his head and she pulls another mug from the cupboard and pours a second cup. 

“It’s about relationships,” He wrings his hands together in front of him, nervously gnawing at the inside of his cheek. A pause. “Just sugar,” And when Beau fulfills his request, “Thanks.” As she hands the mug to him and he holds it between his cold hands. 

She sips the steaming hot coffee in her mug, which Fjord makes out to say “Coffee Lesbean.” Beau hums out something through her pursed lips and sets the mug down. “Is this about Caleb?” She asks, looking like she knew this was coming. 

He gapes for a few moments, before tilting his head to the side. How exactly did she catch wind of this? Beau seems to notice Fjord’s confusion and baffled expression and she sighs to herself, rotating her mug on the counter. 

“Molly told me.” And before Fjord has a chance to get angry about his best friend leaking information about him to Beau, she continues, “But don’t worry, I haven’t said shit. I figured Molly knew just how close Caleb and I are now. Said something about if you couldn’t do it, that I should.” She huffs and takes a big gulp of coffee.

Fjord furrows his eyebrows together, looking into his mug at the dark coffee. It hurt him to know that his closest friend simply told someone else about his feelings for Caleb. And even told her to tell the man herself if Fjord couldn’t do it. What’s going on with him lately?

Beau yet again notices Fjord’s discomfort and dive into an endless sea of thoughts and clears her throat. “Hey man. Don’t worry about it. I yelled at him.” She reassures and tries to give him a smile. It’s crooked and weak. Fjord laughs.   
There’s more silence again, Fjord instead of thinking too hard, gingerly sips on his coffee, warming his body up. “So what do you think I should do?” He asks after a few moments. 

Beau shifts on her feet, finishes off her coffee and sets it in the sink. “He’s,” She lets out a breath, rubbing the back of her neck. “Caleb is different, Fjord.” Beau states, which only confuses Fjord some more.

She continues, “I’m not exactly sure being in a relationship is something he can do right now.” Fjord almost deflates, but he honestly can’t blame the man. It’s a tough time for everyone their age right now. “But listen, I don’t know for sure, okay?”

Fjord sets his half empty, but now lukewarm mug down. “Is there any specific reason?” He questions, though he knows Beau won’t just spill out Caleb’s problems to someone else. 

“I’m not going to say much,” Beau decides on, shrugging her shoulders. “But he’s going through some things. Has been for a while. And if I’m not wrong, you both have, and while you might want to be with Caleb right now, that doesn’t mean you will in a month. Remember Liam?”

He grumbles to himself, nodding his head silently. He knows she means no harm, and she’s only looking out for not only Caleb, but for Fjord too, but his heart burns in his chest. He’s sick of the nightmares, and the pain in his head and the undecided major, and Liam, and-

Just then keys jingle in the door and Jester swings it open, her loud and sweet voice shouting, “I’m home!!” Loud enough for the whole building to hear her. When she catches glimpse of Fjord, she nearly gasps and grins ear to ear. “Fjord’s here!” 

Beau gives him one last look before he turns to greet Jester completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hghghhjhggh please work through ur problems fjordy


End file.
